Amanda's Ramblings

To Serve Is A Pleasure

2009-11-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

“Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad? If not, I have failed indeed. Has anyone's burden been lighter today because I was willing to share? Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way? When they needed my help was I there?”

Good Morning brothers and sisters! I am thankful for this chance to speak to you today. This is an occassion that no one should let pass. Like teaching, we individually learn so much more than our recipients.

Having the opportunity to serve others is another honor that we should not avoid. I don't know how many of us really had the blessing of truly hearing what President Monson had to say on this topic in our last general conference. It spoke directly to my heart because for so long I would say “If you need anything, let me know,” but never openly looked for those people. And would decline the offers when they were too much of an inconvenience.

Do we really see what our neighbors need? Do we pray for the Lord to help us find things that fit with our current circumstances? My personal feeling, reflecting on my reactions to offers to help with services, on occasion are rather selfish. I have turned down having children in my home because I have not kept it up, or, I reason, that the extras in my small home would be too stressful. It is true that I do find extra children to be stressful in my home, but why should I let a little discomfort stop me from helping another?

As for most, it is easy to help those closest to us, such as friends and family. But what about the sister we don't know, who never comes to church? Or the brother who has been a few times and then never returned?

Home teaching and visiting teaching is easy, when we make those few calls and make the time. Its easiest when the person(s) are active and open to visitation. How do we react when they aren't active in the church or 'too busy'?

President Monson says “I am confident it is the intention of each member of the Church to serve and to help those in need.” ... “How many times has your heart been touched as you have witnessed the need of another? How often have you intended to be the one to help? And yet how often has day-to-day living interfered and you’ve left it for others to help, feeling that “oh, surely someone will take care of that need.”

Every Sunday we are offered the sacrament. When we take the sacrament we are renewing our covenant that we made at baptism right? Well what did we covenant? LDS.org reminds us that “Those who are baptized covenant to take the name of Jesus Christ upon themselves.
The prophet Alma explained this covenant to a group of new converts who wanted to be baptized. He observed that their desire to "come into the fold of God" included a willingness to give meaningful service—to "bear one another's burdens, that they may be light," to "mourn with those that mourn," and to "comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8–9).”

Our wonderful apostles prepare messages for us and post them on youtube.com. Sister Smith watched “Choose this Day” by Elder Henry B. Erying, and she encouraged us to watch it as well. I watched this video, it was very inspirational and I am glad Sister Smith told us about it.

Elder Erying speaks of service in this message. He urges us to be watchful of us becoming complacent or overwhelmed by the need of service. The warning for the word 'Someday' is emotionally spoken in this video. I was close to tears and I related to what he was saying. He says that Christ even set the example when he said 'I must work the works of he that hath sent me while it is day; the night cometh while no one can work.' The temptation that we will start to believe that we will 'return someday' is dangerous for we do not know how many days we have left. We can 'choose this day' by praying for ways that we can serve and watch for those answers to our prayers. Erying promises us that if we do these things, that as hard as things may seem today, things will be better in the next day, if we choose to serve this day. And we will also feel his love and grow to love him more. This will create a cycle. We will want to feel that love continually and we will return the next day.

I am very grateful for this message. Frequently I say “someday”. I am not as busy as some, but we can create our own excuses not to do something. Most times I think its just because I am lazy. I don't want to do something that is disruptive, per say, to my normal day, my routine. The ironic thing is that most time the philanthropy is not complicated. A phone call, a note, a meal, an errand, a ride, help with dishes, giving a talk, teaching a class, help finding a job, a smile, a conversation at church, an invitation to sit with you.... The list goes forth. On and on we could list services that would take but a few moments, and are seriously that easy.
Children, as with most things in life, are a wonderful example; (which is probably why Christ admonishes us to be like little children). President Monson included a story in his talk from conference that emulates this example for us.
It reads: “Just over a year ago, I was interviewed by the Church News prior to my birthday. At the conclusion of the interview, the reporter asked what I would consider the ideal gift that members worldwide could give to me. I replied, “Find someone who is having a hard time or is ill or lonely, and do something for him or her.”
I was overwhelmed when this year for my birthday I received hundreds of cards and letters from members of the Church around the world telling me how they had fulfilled that birthday wish.
The acts of service ranged from assembling humanitarian kits to doing yard work.
Dozens and dozens of Primaries challenged the children to provide service, and then those acts of service were recorded and sent to me. I must say that the methods for recording them were creative. Many came in the form of pages put together into various shapes and sizes of books. Some contained cards or pictures drawn or colored by the children. One very creative Primary sent a large jar containing hundreds of what they called “warm fuzzies,” each one representing an act of service performed during the year by one of the children in the Primary. I can only imagine the happiness these children experienced as they told of their service and then placed a “warm fuzzy” in the jar.
I share with you just a few of the countless notes contained in the many gifts I received. One small child wrote, “My grandpa had a stroke, and I held his hand.” From an 8-year-old girl: “My sister and I served my mom and family by organizing and cleaning the toy closet. It took us a few hours and we had fun. The best part was that we surprised my mom and made her happy because she didn’t even ask us to do it.” An 11-year-old girl wrote: “There was a family in my ward that did not have a lot of money. They have three little girls. The mom and dad had to go somewhere, so I offered to watch the three girls. The dad was just about to hand me a $5 bill. I said, ‘I can’t take [it].’ My service was that I watched the girls for free.” A Primary child in Mongolia wrote that he had brought in water from the well so his mother would not have to do so. From a 4-year-old boy, no doubt written by a Primary teacher: “My dad is gone for army training for a few weeks. My special job is to give my mom hugs and kisses.” Wrote a 9-year-old girl: “I picked strawberries for my great-grandma. I felt good inside!” And another: “I played with a lonely kid.” From an 11-year-old boy: “I went to a lady’s house and asked her questions and sang her a song. It felt good to visit her. She was happy because she never gets visitors.”
Sure there are things that we could do that take much more time and effort. And for the few that have the time and resources for those things, they are welcome to do them.

Our Relief Society Activity on October 20th was a 'spoon party'. Sister McClellan read us an analogy that I would like to relate to you guys today. It's called Make Me A Spoon.

“Did you ever compare your service to silverware? All silverware is made to serve, but the different pieces serve in different ways. Forks stab: “This is mine,” they say. Bits of meat, carrots, pickles, salad and cheese. “This, this and this are mine,” says the fork. “Everything for me, me, me.” And soon every last morsel on the plate has been pinned by the spear of the selfish fork. Knives cut: “Too big,” says the knife. Slice. Cut. Chop. Dice. Everything must change its shapes to satisfy the whim of the knife. Nothing is right as it is. Everything needs paring down, carving or separating. Spoons serve: cereal, soup, peas- all the impossible foods can be handled comfortably from the smooth bowl of the spoon. Spoons say, “Here, let me help you. We can manage together.”
Autumn then showed us a belt she had created with various spoons. The object was that each of us has different 'amounts we can serve'. Teaspoons have a little bit of time they can contribute. While ladles have a lot of room to serve. As long as you find what will fit into your life, the Lord will be pleased.

Too often it is just a handful of regulars that are called by the Relief Society and Priesthood leaders to lend a helpful hand, because those are the ones that they know will. Being in the compassionate service leader calling, I am grateful for these willing and able people. It is my prayer that as needs arise in the ward, that we all can rise to the occasion and lend our hands in uplifting one another. As I think about this I am impressed to speculate the impact that this would have on our ward. How many in-actives would return. How our rate of future inactivity would decrease. And all from a hand of service, a smile and notice to some lonely, needy member among us. We would truly be that of a Zion Ward.

I was curious what the Relief Society manual said about service; so I looked it up. “Relief Society sisters provide continuing and compassionate watch care to each other, making themselves, aware of one another's needs, circumstances, and challenges.” What really stuck out to me in this was the 'continuing' part. We are supposed to be always watching out for one another. Always looking for what can be done. The creed “Charity never faileth” implies to us that charity is not just a one time act. Charity is an enduring and an eternal practice.
The manual even goes into ways that we can become aware of needs of others. “Visiting teaching,... praying for guidance, and responding to promptings of the Spirit.” To this I would like to add home teachers. The entire ward, together as a whole, should work together to uplift and bring one another to the fold; Making one another's burdens lighter. It's amazing to me how the Lord has organized his Church. Think about it. We have the entire church which has been broken down into smaller groups. And it's even broken it down into one on one care. Our visiting teaching and home teaching responsibilities have been assigned so that we can be continually involved in service!

My mother frequently is telling me ' a time and a season'. This statement is true on so many topics. And service is definitely one of them. We should never compare ourselves to others in the ward. We are all of different life stages and life styles. I fall victim to that as well. Amy Williams and Bishop have always been people I have looked up to. People I strive to become like. Having a goal based on others examples is good. That is why Christ is our example. We are not asked to compare ourselves to him to see all our faults and feel horrible about them. We are asked to “Come unto him” that we may be like him. The LDS.org gospel topics site says “During His ministry on earth, Jesus Christ spent His time serving and helping others. True disciples of Jesus Christ do likewise. The Savior said, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:35). The Savior is the best example of service.
Even though He came to earth as the Son of God, He humbly served all those around Him. He declared, "I am among you as he that serveth" (Luke 22:27).”

The church recently has had a focus on bringing investigators to our devoted missionaries. One way that we can do this is by serving in our communities and neighborhoods. Stepping outside our comfort zone of our church and ward, we will find greater happiness and answers to our prayers to find readied hearts for the missionaries.

“Therefore chances for work all around just now, opportunities right in our way. Do not let them pass by, saying “Sometime I'll try,” But go and do something today. 'Tis noble of man to work and to give; Love's labor has merit alone. Only he who does something helps others to live. To God each good work will be known.”
“Then wake up and do something more than dream of your mansion above. Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, a blessing of duty of love.”

I know with a surety that this is the teaching of Christ. Christ wants us all to be happy. And it is by serving others that we can become more like him. He has a plan for us. It is perfect and divine. He has organized everything in the Church in such a way to provide a clear and simple path to return to Him. This is my testimony: I know that He lives. I know this with all my heart. This is His Church. His Plan. He sent His servants to guide us through all that life will throw. President Monson and the other general authorities are trying to do just that. Heavenly Father is showing them what we need to hear. I am grateful for their inspiration and testimonies that have taught me so much.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

2009-09-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

There are days when I think, Did I make the right choice? There are days when I say, Is this really my life? Being a mother of two is difficult at times. But I enjoy the adventure most days. My daughter is who puts me through it most days. My son is pretty easy. But so was Abi once. I had a conversation once with a relative and we were discussing the ages of children and the difficulties. She made the comment that she loved toddlers. I said toddlers are cute, but I have an easier time with infants. She then inquired and speculated at the same time. She asked "Why? Is it because toddlers require interaction?" I actually look that offensively at the time. But for the most part that's not it. I have an easier time with infants because their needs are basic. I know what to expect with an infant. I have a hard time with the toddler who doesn't listen. The toddler who keeps peeing on the floor. I love having a two year old. But somedays I get so stressed by life with her, that I wonder if she'll live to see three. I honestly dread my son entering the two year old stage most times. I want him to stay little, and sweet. I love the fact that if he's fussy all it takes is me to talk to him. Rattle a toy and he's all better. He makes no messes. Diapers don't count. Doesn't strangle the cats. And he doesn't fight bed time. If he's tired he usually takes little convincing to get to sleep. Abigale wants the light on, to read, to play. Of course she's always needing ice water.
But in the times when I am not stressed, and even times when I am, I see her smile. Or she says something sweet. And I fall in love all over again with my daughter. I see her develop into a little girl, toddling no more. And I watch my son grow before his age into clothes some toddlers wear. Where is the time going? My babies are growing up.

And then I try to think of the future. Of the prospect of more children, and I want to cry. I know that I am not ready for that leap. But I know we aren't done. There are missing pieces. I also feel like I need to learn. I want to go back to school. I feel a drive for the medical field. A desire that is pulling at me so strongly. But when is it time? A little at a time, I move forward figuring things out. A little at a time. I pray for strength to be able to make it through having and raising children and that I will learn what I need to learn.

Trials or Opportunities

2009-09-09T22:50:00.001-07:00

Experiences give us opportunities to learn new lessons for life.How we handle the experiences life has given us dictates what we walk away with. Imagine a car wreck. What do you see on the people's faces? Maybe there is an angry individual. Perhaps there is a teen driver. And lets say there is a mother with children in her vehicle. Most car accidents are jostling to anyone. Its embarrassing for the person(s) at fault. Terrifying for everyone if more than a bump.
What reactions do you see in the faces? Anger. Stress. Relief if there were no injuries. Maybe some confusion if people don't know exactly what happened. Have you ever seen understanding? How about compassion?
I was recently in a car accident. For those of you familiar with the area where I live, I was on 172nd Pl Ne stopped at a light to go across 67th AVE NE. The car behind me stopped. And the car behind her did not, from what I can discern. I am not sure what exactly happened on his end. But it is irrelevant.
After the crash, we all got out to assess damages. The other two vehicles, both SUVs, sustained minor damages. My Cavalier on the other hand was more intense. The trunk is pretty severe. I cannot open it for the latch has been bent at a 45 degree angle into the trunk. Both lights are cracked and there are some other things that aren't right anymore.
The driver behind me was the veterinarian technician that actually helped me put down a cat just a few weeks ago. (Small world huh, that I knew the driver behind me.) She was not happy. She was actually very upset and angry that this happened. I don't think she was far from home. She was probably coming home from work; she was still in scrubs.
The driver at fault was a kid. He was just 16. He was mortified. His feelings were intensified when he found out about the kids in my back seat. My 13.5 week old and 2.5 year old were fine so I wasn't feeling any worry about them.
Surprisingly, I was not upset. I was scared I guess you could say because I did not see that coming. I have a bit of whip lash from it. But that's it. Instead of anger, I felt sympathy for the kid. I have been in his exact situation before. And being involved in this reminded me of all the feelings I felt when I rear-ended another car. I felt no anger. No animosity at all. I seriously kept telling him "its okay. It happens." At the time I did not know his name, nor his age. It didn't even cross my mind to get his name. It didn't matter. What mattered was everyone was okay.
Looking back, I am surprised. And I have come away from that experience with a couple thoughts. The first thought is how do we react in situations? Are we being proactive or reactive? Is what we are doing what Christ would want us to do? We are all here together to help each learn and become better. Are we doing that for one another?
Secondly, Though it should have been minor, the assessment of the damages are adding up quickly to be a large sum. My car, though it still looks nice, is not worth as much as one might think. For months we have been praying for ways to spend less and get rid of debt. Chad may have a good job, but it does not pay very well at times. This makes parts of the year difficult to make ends meet. The probability of my car being a total loss is high at this point. So I have been batting around my options and trying to weigh the pros and cons now so I can make more educated decisions when the time comes. This being said, I have been feeling like if my car is totaled, I would take the settlement money and pay off debt. This means I will be without a car for awhile. But it feels like this is the opportunity I need to take in life. This is the lemon I am to see as lemonade. Isn't that what we should do, coat our lemons with sugar and squeeze?
"When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Though the saying remains, to practically a point that it is cliche, how many of us really take its advice. To listen to such means to suck up our pride and realize we are in this position for a reason. Lemons are opportunities. They may be disguised as very sour fruit and often make us more than pucker, but we will benefit in the end.

Okay Okay... I give

2009-03-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

I know its been a long time. But as I have told my friend, not many read this- including my husband. So I have a hard time writing when nothing really exciting is going on. That itch to write hasn't been annoying enough I suppose. After a few months of nothing, I figured I'd let the world in again.
Baby is doing great. He is very active and always in my ribs. We have a name- Caden Douglas. It was interesting to see my family's reactions to the name. I honestly felt they didn't like it. But as my husband reminded me, its our baby. I am excited to have a shower before the baby this time. Abigale's was never able to happen before her birth because of snow. And then we actually had it rescheduled for the 15th, but I went into labor that morning. Thus we had one in January after everyone was through with their holiday plans.
I am feeling very ready for this baby to come. He is becoming very uncomfortable to me. Some days I feel like the end is tomorrow. Some days... well lets just say I feel like 10 weeks is forever away.
To get ready, I was given a crib. I bought a used swing. And all the other necessities I have registered for at Babies R Us and Target. I do have some clothes, but not a lot. Sheets and other odds and ends things are on the registry.

Chad's job is going well. He has a review today that will decide on a raise in wages. Budget cuts have changed a few benefits in the company. But he still working, and that is what counts. He has also applied for other internal positions. One of which, when he applied for it, had a $100 a day bonus for being on show site. But that has been cut therefore his interest in the job has as well. It just isn't worth the extra stress for the wages offered. Which is too bad, because he would have really enjoyed it . He likes that division a lot. Maybe they will change the actual wage offered to make up the difference. But we'll see.

Life is okay, we take it one day at a time.

Its a ....

2009-01-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

The long wait has paid off. We have a baby who wants to show all. The radiology tech said "its a good thing you want to know because we'd have a hard time not noticing this one!"

So what did he say we are having- BOY!

Chad is very happy and so am I.

Baby update

2009-01-15T11:08:00.001-08:00

We had an appointment on Tuesday. Everything is going well. I am where I should be. Baby has a strong heartbeat. It is always nice to be reassured of the health of my baby. We may have decided on a name. But we don't know if we're having a boy or girl yet.... so I am not really going to announce anything. :)

The doctors are still sticking with the due date of the 16th of June. We have an ultrasound on tuesday the 20th. If things still look a week ahead at that one, we may be moved up. The ticker on my blog is not set for the 16th due date. If I remember correct, I did it on the 12th. So its a few days different from what the doctors are calculating. But I figure its a mid mark.

We will hopefully find out the sex in less that a week!!!

Latest Storm Watch

2009-01-08T20:54:00.001-08:00

Washington is a place of many changes. We have our rain, our wind, our sun, our snow... our rain.... Washington, Northwest to be specific, is home to many rivers, streams, lakes and other waterways. Some water ways we only see once a few decades.

In the last 48 hours, Arlington, in a place nick-named Island Crossing, has been transformed. In what used to be a busy highway, while restaurants and businesses on either side, there is now a lake. Once frequented restaurants are now flooded. Homes have been vacated. Cattle have been moved to higher pastures. Long standing residents have been quoted saying that "flooding like this hasn't been seen is decades" and one lady said "maybe 20 years".
I live a few miles from Arlington. Just one exit away. My particular street hasn't seen very much water accumulation, but we are a little bit higher than some. Some surrounding properties, many have fields, are flooded. Thankfully, only a few have had the misfortune of the water encroaching their living spaces. Many have barns that are flooded. Yards became lake beds. And this is just what is in my ten mile radius.

Now, the story becomes more dire if you head south. The city of Snohomish is under water. Parts of Interstate 5 have been shut down. Main highways are barricaded. Bridges are invisible.
And further south, towards Chehalis and Duvall, have seen horrible conditions.

This is the worst flooding, and the quickest, many have seen in many years. This is because we have been hit with heavy rains, especially in the passes (16 plus in some areas) in 48 hours. When you couple that with the depth of snow accumulation that is now being caused to melt quickly, the rivers had no choice.

Thank goodness for my home.

New Years Resolution

2008-12-29T20:40:00.001-08:00

So I was sitting here, on the couch, with the tablet PC, thinking about New Years. In the past I have always done a resolution that was based around vanity. Such as loose weight, become more active, or some variation of that sort. This year, maybe I should do something that doesn't revolve around me really. Do you think it would stick?

Want to know what my New Years Resolution is?

Potty Train my daughter before the new baby arrives.

To Love a Cat

2008-12-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

There is about 20 or so inches of snow outside. So I find myself sitting in my recliner with a movie, a key board and a thick warm blanket. And what would complete this portrait? Well besides a cup of hot chocolate, all you need is a fluffy cat.
What is it about a cat that feels so right? Why when I hear the gentle rumble of its motor do I get so happy?
But why? The love of a cat is so 'fickle'. Felines don't run at your beckoning call, at least most times. They are full of sass and will power that only a two year old can rival. And they will get up and leave whether you want them to or not.
They make me happy that's all I know. And maybe that's all I'll ever know. And I suppose that I'll have to be okay with that.

"Winter Storm Watch"

2008-12-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

Many times as a child I wished for snow. Mostly I got rain in response to my pleas. A few times we would get a dusting. That dusting, no matter how light it was, always brought thrill to the children of the northwest. There is a song that is very dear to me that reminds of most Christmas' of my life. 'Christmas in the Northwest' sings of the evergreen conditions and rain that we are well accustomed to.
So what happens to people of the Puget Sound when we get a few inches of snow and ice? Well they call it a "STORM" of course.
The news is plastered with stories of sliding buses, closed school and barricaded roads. The weather forecasters say "what's coming next? More snow!" They make it sound like we are all going to die, and that everyone is suffering through something so life threatening and horrible that it won't end soon enough. Its very humorous to see chains on peoples cars. The biggest threat on the roads in ice, because everything has been compacted down and refrozen. Do chains help with that? I don't know. Whatever.
Honestly, my area has seen the most snow that I have heard. At my home we are over 15 inches. Granted we have seen some melting and re-freezing of snow. But we are still getting snow today. A few miles away, there is significantly less than at my house too. We are at the bottom of the hills so we get a good dusting of it.
Last night, we were warned of a strong storm coming in off the West coast, flying quickly east. They didn't know exactly what would happen in my area because we would get the tail end of the 'Storm'. But from what I have heard, the South Sound and some other areas of Washington, were hit very hard. Snow, freezing rain and forceful winds tortured and threatened the residents. They predicted some areas to get as much as 15 inches of snow in under 48 hours. Now for someone who is used to good winter storms, that doesn't sound like much, but for our area it significant. Winds, I heard reached 70 mph in some places.
In preparation for the storm, we bought wood, briquettes, and pellets. My father came and got the flue for the wood stove hooked up. Granted its in the garage and you gotta get the stove really hot before it does us any good, but we had a back up source of heat. The briquettes we would use on the grill to cook. This was all if we lost power and enough for a couple days.
We had considered going up to Chad's parents' home to weather it out, but decided with the pets, we should stick it out at home. Having family as back up shelters was a blessing of security to staying home.
Funny thing happened though. We got a couple inches of snow. Absolutely no wind. And kept the power on the entire time. But Chad's parents lost power. Don't know if they had winds or how much snow. But they lost power. So I am glad I stayed home.

The weather is forecasted to stay pretty much around mild 30's and snow and rain mix. So will we have a white Christmas? It may end up being a bit more slush if it warms up too much, but we have enough that will make it stick around for a while. Unless it warms up dramatically....

Ultrasound

2008-12-04T22:34:00.000-08:00

I had an ultrasound yesterday. I love them. Its so neat to see the baby and all the various stages. They never seem to last very long though. At least that's how it feels. It feels like I am in there for ten minutes maybe of sonogram time, then done. Oh, well. They have other patients right?
Anyways, the results are normal. Baby is growing fine. Great in fact. They said that the measurements are actually ahead of schedule. My last ultrasound said I am due around the 16th of June. Well this one said closer to the 8th. I don't know if the doctor will alter the due date in my records to match this ultrasound's reading. I will probably hear about that on the 15th when I have a check up.
I got to have a picture of the baby. First one! I love looking at it. Chad left saying 'I saw boy parts!' I was skeptical. I know that the techs will not affirmatively be able to declare a sex until 18-21 weeks, not 12 or 13. But looking at the picture.... well, I think it does show boy parts. They are technically visible at this stage, but they don't like to look because it is still very hit and miss. Being accurate with things like gender is kinda important I suppose. :) Anyways, based on the picture, I think its a boy as well.
I have felt like its a boy for a while because this pregnancy has been very different from Abigale's. At this stage with her, I was still keeping basically nothing down. I am to the point that I can keep food down during the day. I am still nauseous. I will most times throw up bile/acid in the mornings or late night. But that's okay; that doesn't cause weight loss. The doctor said I can't loose anymore. 14 pounds or so is enough according to him. Unlike Abi's, I have no craving for chocolate. On the other hand, the thought of most chocolate is gross to me. I do crave fruit right now. Unfortunately, this is a bad time to crave fruit. It all its tasteless crap.
But what do ya do? I am excited, though. A boy is going to be a nice addition. And Michelle, Chad's sister in law, is due to have a boy the end of April. This baby will have a close in age cousin to play with!
If I find someone with a scanner, I may scan the ultrasound photo in.....

Oh Christmas tree!

2008-12-01T22:25:00.000-08:00

I don't think I will ever forget the memories of putting up the Christmas tree, every year a different experience. As a child, you look forward to the lights and the ornaments, your glee shining like a star. Some years we chose a tree from the farm. Others we plucked the branches out of a box, placed them in a pole and arranged the limbs in deliberate forms. Whether the tree was cut or set up, frosting it with the lights and decorations were the same.First the lights. String them out, making sure that no bulbs are out. Wrap the garland next. Be careful its not tangled or a mess the floor will be. The glass balls and other various ornaments collected over time, all picked with care, are next. Some are gifted, others impulses. Each though is special. Each adds its own touch. I recall each sibling squabbling for their choice.
The angel was the finale. Her delicate wings, silk cream. She had but one light, a candle she did hold. This angel is still used on my mother's tree. I will always remember her fondly. That childhood memory, decorations scattered across the floor, will always have a glow from above. My angel of youth.

My Aunt Brenda gifted my an angel for my own Christmas tree, when I was 16. Unfortunately the angel short circuited and died last year. Now atop my young family's tree, sits a star, shining so bright. I like my star, but it will never replace the angel of my heart.

The Queen Has Her Throne Once Again

2008-11-03T21:39:00.001-08:00

In our culture, buckets are referenced many ways. Five gallon buckets are a common scene. Many times they are carriers for paint, other fluids such as water, and they even carry solids, often in the form of dirt or grains. Some common phrases about buckets are 'to kick the bucket', 'its pouring buckets', and 'a drop in the bucket'. Another thing that people think of almost instantly is a 'honey bucket'.
I would be very surprised to find anyone who did not understand what the reference to a 'honey bucket' implied. But for those who don't know, a 'honey bucket' is a portable toilet. Many won't use a porta-potty unless they are camping. And even then, the direst of situations usually is all that will convince them to use one.
What would you do if you had no toilet? How long would you last in your home when your bathroom has virtually zero working appliances?
My home has undergone a major home improvement. This all began on October 17th. The demolition began that night. Then the next day the real heavy work began. Gutted, the bathroom was bare. We removed the toilet, sink and tub. A new tub was installed the first weekend. But that still left us with out a toilet and sink. And really not able to use the tub except for Saturday the 18th night. Now what would you do for a potty?

My answer- five gallon bucket.

My husband's job called him away the Wednesday after the work began on my bathroom. This was no short trip either. He was slated to be gone for almost three weeks. (In fact, as I write this he is still away.) This left me, pregnant and nauseous (often throwing up multiple times a day) to deal and handle the work on my bathroom. Now, don't get me wrong, I personally did practically no physical work on the renovation efforts. But the stress was present all the same. Decisions had to be made regarding this such as what to do about a plumbing issue. Or how to fix the issue of 'fur'ing out the wall to meet the tub. I have no experience in this category. So when things went wrong, it was all I could do to not just loose it.
Now the work that had to be done on our bathroom with Chad away was tiling the floor, counter and the tub/shower walls. Granted we had a guy from church we hired to do it, that had its own set of problems. He did 'cut some corners' to save us money. Which honestly, just do it right and I won't mind paying you the extra was my feelings. It's technically just rent money so it doesn't effect my lifestyle persay. He did do a wonderful job tiling. I love it. There are some quirks but I trusted him to be in my home while I was by myself and even while I was away, so what do you do? Live with it right?
Let me remind you, this whole time, I am peeing and pooing in a bucket placed in my garage. My nauseous tummy was relived in my kitchen sink. Surprising to many, the bucket didn't bother me as much as the sink did. I hated puking in the sink because if there were chunks I then had to clean out my sink which usually made me throw up again. Vicious cycle I tell you what.

The light in shining on my home tonight though. My loving father came by this even and installed my 'porceline throne'. I am on my way to being civilized once again. I installed the shower head this evening and placed a new shower rod with my new curtain on it. I placed a rug on the floor. Its beginning to look like a bathroom again. One that is functional as such at least.
There are still things to be done though. I need to go buy something to hide the half inch gap in the drywall and hardibacker board, base boards, trim for the door frames. The walls need to be sanded in some areas and retextured. A new coat of paint is definetly on the list. I need to clean out the vanity cupboard from all the dust and water on it. Its gross. The water shut off valve flange under the vanity needs to be snipped off so I can put a new one one. The old one is stuck otherwise it would normally just pull off. The door frames also need to be reinstalled.
And that is just the work in the bathroom. My whole home has exploded from the dust and chaos. I need to vacuum and shampoo the carpets. Its more than I can stand. It will be nice to have my hall and living room empty of the extra stuff. One bathroom remodel turned into a house of disaster.

But the end is near. Chad comes home on Sunday. I am eight weeks pregnant. Life is hard, but would you want it to be otherwise? A friend of mine used to quote to me something to the effect of 'Everything will work out in the end. And if everything is not alright, its not the end'. That is comforting to think on. The Lord has a plan, though we may be miserable, we always learn something from it. We grow from struggle and that's why we're here. Hold your head high while you walk through life, its humbling to know you don't have to pee in a bucket.

Life and Fairness

2008-10-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

I remember as a kid being told "life is not fair". Many parents have heard their child declare with a feeling of great injustice "That's not fair!" While thinking on this the other night, I started to wonder what in life is fair. Parents may try to be, but they are human. Their views are skewed; sometimes they only see one side of the story and you can't reply on the children to always tell it how it was from the objective standpoint. So to all the children out there, when you want fairness where do you do?
Look to the skies. Be a meteorologist.
The weather is completely neutral. There are no biases in weather. The weather does not care who you are. It does not care what your day's plans are. The April showers will not hold off for your wedding if their clouds are heavy. The winter blizzard will not clench its icy winds and frozen rain to let your laboring, pregnant wife get to the hospital in time. There is fairness in nature. Humans, not so much.

In the water

2008-10-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

My previous post was about my sister. Not me. Just in case anyone wondered. But I want to update everyone. Today I was informed that Chad and I are expecting. I am only about four weeks along. Best I can figure we are looking at a mid June baby. We are very happy! This has been something we were trying for for a few months now. Thanks for all the support from family and friends.

Unplanned

2008-10-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

You hear of the teen pregnancy, the black mark on the family. You hear of it through the grapevine. Its always someone else's daughter. You watch that family mourn the loss of the youth of their teen, too young to be a parent. But how do you react when the said daughter is in your family? You are now the family with the unplanned child of a teen girl.
I never wanted to experience this. I never wanted to know how people felt when this happened. Never. She's too young. She's void of so many skills.

But its positive. Reality is, she is pregnant.

So what now? Where do you go from here? I knew she was pregnant. Even before the test came back. I knew. I saw her belly pudging out. I saw her queasy face. She complained of all the common early signs.

But I didn't want it to show the two pink lines. Reality is, they are bold, bold as day.

Tomorrow we go to the lab. Tomorrow, we call to set an appointment for first trimester check ups.

The baby is on its way. The new addition to our family. To a child herself, how this will affect her life many know. What we don't know is how she will change to handle it.

How do you handle it, when you're the one who was trying?

Life Changes

2008-10-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how as we go through life, experiencing different things, how our opinions and out looks change. The young are jaded. The old are wise to the ways of the world. And the young at heart still test the boundaries.
I was thinking on how my views have been altered as I have grown older. I started out believing everyone was supposed to be nice. I think everyone does. But when you're the blunt of everyone's teasing in school, followed home by the neighborhood twerps, you quickly learn otherwise. When you try to get a job, and someone is chosen over you, the reality that you can't get chosen for a job based on how well you think you qualify is a reminder of reality. You need experience for everything you do.
Things never are as they seem. Life is never an easy course. And not that it should be. Its a hard lesson to learn. The lesson every one learns, different times in their life maybe, but we all have to learn it.
We all have to learn to recognize our mistakes. It is necessary for us to learn to say 'I am sorry'. Learning to forgive yourself is the hardest lesson of all. But you can't move forward until you learn from your past.
Take life's lesson with optimism. They are for our good. We have to learn in order to change and grow into better people, for ourselves, for our children and families, and for society.

Feel free to share your life's lesson opinions and stories.

By Request

2008-09-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

I told a friend I wrote poetry before. That friend asked me to post some. So tonight, I will post one that I wrote a couple years back.
This one comes from a time when someone close to me was making decisions that I didn't agree with. She was having a hard time overcoming the pressures of teen life and the aspects of pressures that come with that. This poem came from the frustration I felt as she pushed me away. The pain I felt as I watched her screw up. The sorrow that pierced my heart as the sister I loved, walked away from everything I knew was right.

How?
10/26/2004
How can I make you understand?
How can I make you see?
I want to slap you in the face
And say "Listen to me!"
I want to take you by the hand
And show you all that you can be.

But for now, all I can do is dream.
All I can do is pray you will see.
And as I pray, I will stay
Waiting for you to listen to me.
The I will take you by the hand
And show you all that you can be.

Since this poem, many things have happened. Many tears were shed, and many dreams were shattered. But hope has begun to shine in my family. My sister is home again. Happy again. Away from drugs, away from abusive relationships, among other things. I pray that she has learned. I pray she will stay and become all she was meant to be.

Ostrich Feathers!?

2008-09-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

I have an adsense window on my blog and this evening I saw an ad for the first time. But I was kinda surprised by it. I didn't know they sold high quality, let alone any quality of Ostrich Feather! Yeah, that's what my ad was today- High quality Ostrich Feathers! What do you do with those anyway? Make a hat?

Ode To Family Dinners

2008-09-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

I always wondered growing up what being in a big family would be like. What it would be like to have more than five people at the dinner table. How you cook for more than three kids, let alone seating them in a dining room. Looking at families in my church who had kids that required counting with most of your ten fingers, I would think these things. Seeing them sit in the pews at church, lined up so handsome in their 'Sunday best', would make me contemplate the logistics of a large clan. And to some extent I still do ponder on how large household functions.

And to some extent, I am learning by being cast into the fire.

My husband is one of five brothers. He is the eldest. The three older sons all have kids and are married. When you take five sons, four grand kids, and three wives, the noise level, among other things, is greatly quantified. You now have two tables of people for dinner. One table for the kids with jobs. One for the four kids, three of which aren't even two yet. And you can't have four children at a table by themselves, so its always a game of drawing straws for which two adults get to sit with the toddlers. And that doesn't even cover the amount of plates, forks, cups, and groceries to complete a dinner setting. Do you place the dishes of food on the table or do you have a buffet line that people serve themselves with? That is often one of the first decision made on at dinner line up.

My mother in law, bless her heart, loves having these group gatherings. But her tolerance for mess is very limited. Let's just say its limited to no mess. She has to have everything a particular way. Every item has its place, pillows turned just right and papers stacked this angle. Sometimes I wonder if she's forgotten what its like having kids. All she does is clean while we're there. Rarely do I see her sit, with the exception of eating her dinner. The poor dear, stresses out the entire time, and always sighs when the children have gone.

My father in law, I think, handles the crowds a bit better. He is usually smiling and joking with someone. It makes me happy to see him. He actually feels like a father to me. More than once, he has come to me with a form of caring such as bring a blanket for me to cuddle with. He is very insightful into one's needs. And I respect him very much for the way he has raised his sons. Keeping his wife sane is a more daunting task, but he is ever prevailing to be a balance for her.

Chad's brothers are all very different from each other. This makes for a interesting evening for sure. We have, Nick, who is very active the whole night, pacing while he interacts with everyone. Usually snapping and slapping his fist to the palm of opposite hand while he talks, he is a high energy presence. You can tell how passionate, excited or whatever the feeling is at the time, by how much he is moving around.

Scott is less mobile in the sense that he doesn't pace when he talks. But he is partially deaf, and when in a crowd of everyone having their own conversations, he normally speaks fairly loud. He may need you to repeat something as well. Questions of 'interest' are Scott's thing. I wonder if he thinks the whole week on what on ask people when we all get together again. Every time we are together as a family, he has some 'probing' question for people. He is very opinionated, but that is a family trait. Conversations may be as simple as what books you like, to the Swiss particle accelerator in development by CERN.

Jeff is rarely there. He works for Papa John's delivering pizzas. When he is there, he is more quiet. He often retreats to playing his guitar.

Tim has his days where he is all involved in the family bustle. Other days he hides out upstairs in the office, playing games and watching YouTube. He can be very senstive sometimes. Being the youngest is hard, even when you are fourteen. Fourteen is a hard age for anyone though. He is trying to figure out who he is. Somedays he is laughing, some he is yelling and saying how everyone is mean and picking on him. But we love Tim. Most Sundays he is a big and most valued help with the kids. He will play with them and give them baths. Frequently he will sit with the kids so that a parent has the opportunity of adult interaction at mealtime. We wouldn't trade him for anything.

Chad is pretty quiet. Like his mother, he doesn't handle the commotion very well. He gets stressed sometimes. Today he was doing some tedious tasks and was having a hard time concentrating because of the noise level. He loves his brothers and he does like being with his family.

I am grateful for the opportunity I have to be part of a larger family. I love it. We are growing and we are learning. We are finding new ways to interact. New methods to organizing. New talents to showcase. New ways we can all help live together as a happy family. New ways to laugh about the ways things are, could be and have been. And isn't that what being part of a big family is all about?

Living together, learning together, loving together, laughing together.

Torn Feathers and Fur

2008-09-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

Many who have read my blog before, know of the bird tragedies that have occurred lately in my home. The feather strewn across my lawn and living room had many saying "Oh My!" What I didn't add then was that my parakeet did that week too!
This week, my dog has still be trying her status as our family canine. Due to her breed, I understand why this happens, but its not okay. I promised my step father that if she got to his birds and killed any, she would go. That day has come. This week she has broken into my bird cage and tormented on of the white Leghorns. Also I was informed of her nature coming into play with one of Steve's show chickens. That bird is no longer suitable for events. Maybe that's due to its lack of life.
What do you do when the day has come when you have to own up to your word? Now I am faced with the battled of getting this dog's attention of our family fowl. How do you curve a dog's nature?
I wouldn't mind just getting rid of her; that would solve so many problems. She is a good dog. But she can't kill my birds! Another hang up I have will just getting rid of her is the money we have put into her. It adds up fast. The time also is a big part. The clincher: can this be stopped?
My options are thus- 1) Shock collar every time she gets towards the chickens. 2) Tie dead chicken to neck 3) Electric barriers and fencing.
There are problems to each though. The first works great- when the collar is on. The collar is also remote control, requiring me to watch at all times. And she knows when its off. Therefore making it a permanent fixture on her neck.
The second idea is kinda gross. Tying a chicken to her neck was recommended by a friend's father. He has chicken and had this problem with a dog. He said it worked because the dog got tired of the chicken in its face. Will it work? We try tomorrow.
The third idea is expensive. I don't know about you, but I don't have more money to put into a dog. I can hardly pay bills and eat. In concept it would work, but do I really want to spends hundreds on a dog that stresses me out and drives me crazy?
And what do I do when these fail? Who wants to buy a dog once she is 7 months old? Most don't get re-homed very well after they are 5-6 months old. Chad tells me I don't put enough effort into training. But to be honest, I don't like having this dog. I have in effect two toddlers. Dogs frustrate me. Yeah, I am lazy when it comes to training. I don't care enough sometimes.
Why did I agree to a dog?

Who let the dog out?!

2008-09-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

Chickens are in my yard. Dog is in my yard. Cat is in my yard. Is this a recipe for a disaster or what? Last night while going to bed, I heard the normal clucking of my six hens. Thinking they were a little louder than I remember, but knowing I had latched the coop I didn't think much about it. This is where I have concluded all my troubles began.
Fast forward to this morning, about 7:30. My normal wake up alarm is the dog. I got up and took her to the back door and let her out. Next I went the bathroom. Hearing the noises coming from my back door were abnormal screeching. At first it didn't click with me what was happening. But then the light went on and I ran from the bathroom in my underwear. I flung open the back door and yelled in earnest at the dog. "Tikanni! Inside now!"
The sandbox of my back yard is dusted with white feathers. One bird is dead. One is missing a lot of feathers. And possibly another is injured seriously. What do you do with a four month old chicken anyway?

What is a Blog anyhow?

2008-09-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently, in response to asking her if she had a blog, asked me "what is a blog for anyhow?" I was sort of taken aback because she is my age, and asking me what the point of a blog was. Doesn't my age group know everything about the computer and IT world? That's our generation isn't it? That got me thinking, though. Why do I have a blog? What is the draw and purpose for so many people to have blogs?
My purpose for a blog was to get my creative juices flowing. I miss having something to put those efforts into, like work and school. I even got ambitious and said I was going to do a mural in Abi's room. Needless to say, that project flopped. I am not a painter in the sense of doing animals and the such. I can do abstract and geometric. And that's about it. But I do love to write short "essays" and poems. And I can do that with a blog and I can share it with people all over the world.
In essence a blog is another way that we as humans fulfill that most important need, contact with others. Whether with strangers, distant or near family and friends, anyone can visit a blog and read the authors thoughts and happenings. Odd creatures, we humans, huh? Our constant curiousness and eager ability to communicate has brought us so many inventions. We are certainly the age of knowledge. And a blog is just another way to communicate with others. So enjoy blogging you bloggers! Keep reading and supporting one another.

"Quack, Quack Mom!"

2008-09-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

As most children, Abigale wakes up and is very happy. Today she woke up, climbed off my bed and toddled to the living room. A few minutes later, my bird lover, comes into my room saying "Mom, quack quack!" over and over. It took a bit for it to register as to what she was waving, head flopping from side to side. Once realization set in to what my 20 month old was holding, I sat up said "Abi that's an icky bird!" I don't think I startled her, but at first that's what it looked like because she abruptly dropped the bird. Next came screaming and tears. Confusion was all I felt at first. Why was she so upset and scared?
I looked at the bird, wondering if it was still alive. The limp, lifeless body was not moving. Examining my daughter's fingers, I found one that had a pinch mark on it. The only conclusion I can come to is that the bird came to life just long enough to get an intrusive toddler to stop the waving of his body in the air. "Let me die in what peace and dignity I have left, darn it!" he must have been saying.
My living room was left with the feathers of his abusive death. The kitchen decorated with black and brown flecks. What kind of bird it was I am not sure. But I think it was a Robin youngster. Older than the picture I found for this post, but not an adult. But Missy (year old tabby female) is definitely proud of her catch for Mommy.

Humor in Line

2008-09-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

This conversation happened at the local grocery store- Winco, tonight.
Checker: " I hope you got all the item numbers on these bulk foods."
Me: "I believe I did."
Then I thought, well shoot, I wonder if I did miss them.
Checker: "Well, you miss this one."
Me: "Well shoot..."
I smile a bit embarrassed... laugh, look at it...look at the cart...
me: "I think its cloves. Oh wait... maybe not... let me smell it."
Checker looks at me funny and hands me the little bag.
I smell it and say
"No its Allspice."
The guy behind me says "When in doubt Allspice!"

Phishing

2008-09-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Do you love to fish? I do. But how does the fish feel about you fishing? If I was a fish, I wouldn't like you fishing in my pond....

That's how I feel about phishing attempts. People are out there preying on me while I am trying to further my family in life and they have the gal to ruin that for me! I mean come on! Why would someone feel so desperate for money that they spend their time and money looking for people to catch on their spiny hooks?

I got an email to my Craigslist posting asking for someone to pay me to run their errands. This is the email-

Your Ref: 3918/04/TF-ATW

Toshiba Handle Company©: Introduces the position of offshore financial manager, you being our offshore manager your Responsibility is to process

payments from customers and clients.You do not need to travel to meet our client or Customer as all payment will be delivered to you at home.

The requirements for the candidates are:

-Being energetic, responsible, honest and industrious
-Being Between 19-90 years old
-Having a few (1-2 hrs a day) to check your email
-Having a phone, (home and mobile)
-Having an email

Once you are able to attribute yourself and meet all the above listed requirements, you should probably then apply for our offered position. Our

company remains the most successful distributor of power equipments manufactured by Toshiba. Recently, our company's profit has increased so

much, thus, we decided to expand into the markets of United Kingdom and Africa. Your duties as offshore financial manager will be to receive

payments through various means from the customer in the nearest Region. The employee will process the payment and send the money via Western

Union to one of our regional trade missions or our partner regional branches around the world.

There are 2 means which you can receive payment from our client.

1. By check.
2. Wells Fargo Bank

You are expected to deduct 10% for your income and wire the the remaining balance of the money to the location we would make available to you.

(YOU COULD EARNED UP TO $900 usd a WEEK OR MORE) It's real and legit and we have our own way of verifying information given to us to

ascertain if it's genuine or otherwise. We also have security agents working with us in collaboration with the FBI, Scotland Yard and INTERPOL just

in case you turn out to be a cheat.

NOTE: ALL CHARGES BY WESTERN UNION WILL BE HANDLED BY TOSHIBA HANDLE, so when sending via western union, fees will be

taken from total sum processed by you. Further details regarding to the employment form and confirmation will be entertained via our personal email

address. Kindly get back to us with the following information if you are interested in working with us.

1.) First Name:
2.) SurName:
3.) Address:
4,) City:
5.) State:
6.) Zip code:
7.) Mobile Phone Number:
8.) Cells Phone Number:
9.) Gender:
10.) Status:
11.) Age:
12.) Present Job:

Toshiba Handle Company©
Computer Systems Division
9740 Irvine Boulevard
Irvine, CA 92618.
Email: toshibahandle1@yahoo.com

Web content for all Toshiba Handle Company© : http://www.toshiba.com

What would you think after reading this email? I, at first, was a little skeptical, but not enough so that I recognized it for what it was. Then little feelings started altering my opinion. So i clicked on the link provided. Looked at Toshiba's site for job listings. Nothing really there. But I still felt it was odd. Turning to my all knowing husband, I asked what he knew of the "company name". (He's in Minneapolis) Next, I turned to great Google. This is what I found.

http://www.scamfraudalert.com/f37/looking-rep-www-toshiba-com-john-luke-7057/
http://www.scamfraudalert.com/f37/toshiba-handle-company-account-receivable-payment-agent-position-13689/

Oh what a life saver Google is! I promptly proceeded to send off an email to the jerk phishers and said I am not interested. The email is now in my junk box.

All I want is to earn a little money! Why does have to be so dog-gone difficult? I AM NOT A MULE!!!

How to know when to renew your license/id

2008-09-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

The obvious one would be when it expires. Or when the officer writes you a ticket for driving with expired license, whichever method you prefer. Both are effective reminders.

Another sure way to know is when you are asked to show additional identification. If you don't have another form of id, the checker will then ask another associate to verify your picture to your face.

Which will you wait for?

How fast can you kill your phone?

2008-09-02T13:33:00.001-07:00

In 123 minutes!

Labor from a Mother's Perspective

2008-09-02T13:18:00.001-07:00

Following the trend from Whim, I feel the desire to express my "Labor" in honor of Labor Day.

How long was my "labor"?
I started noticing contractions about 6:30 am and took a bath. I was at the hospital by 9:30 am. And Abi was born at 11:06 am. So what does that equate to- about 5.5 hours.

How did I know I was in "labor"?
I knew I was in labor because I had lost my mucus plug the night before. Also I was very positive when I woke up and took a bath to ease the pain that it was labor. I just knew.

Where did I deliver?
Hospital

Drugs?
Nope

C-Sections?
Nope

Who delivered?
Well the PA I had early in the pregnancy ended up delivering Abi. Funny this is I didn't like this doctor for my prenatal care and changed to my Personal Physician, and he went skiing the week we had Abi.

How long was I pregnant?
5 days before 40 weeks.

What will the next one hold?
Well shall see....

All but a bonnet and churn

2008-08-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

I have been learning about what is in our food. Isn't knowledge funny? Ignorance really is bliss sometimes isn't it. The reality of what I have begun to learn has definitely opened my eyes. This being said, my husband and I have been looking into how we can change what we eat. One way we are able to eliminate some of the harmful and needless additives in our food is by drinking organic milk.
The search for organics in my area is a little more difficult, but it can be done. I have talked to many that I know from church that are more Eco-knowledgeable and found a few co-ops. Basically a co-op is a cooperative organization of farmers that have a store that is not for profit. Being I try to support my local and small business owners whenever I can, this mode of grocery selection seemed to be a great idea.
There are two in my area. Well sort of my area. There is a small one named Sno-Isle Co-op in Everett and another in Mount Vernon named Skagit Valley Co-Op. The Mt. Vernon one is much bigger than the Everett one and has a lot more selection. My main hang up with going all organic is I simply can't afford it! When you consider the cost of foods today and then double it, how can anyone afford to feed a family the way they would prefer?
My Dad scoffs at the organic principal, but when you think about it, when he grew up, things were basically organic. They were starting to form pesticides and other "helpful" products. But for the most part they were organic. Isn't it interesting how many more cancers and other various illnesses do we have? I have the opinion that we have an increased amount of illnesses because of a couple reason. One being that we have a more proficient medical knowledge, but also that we are helping cause our diseases. I have a friend, that many of my readers know, who is 24. She was recently diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She has no family history. None! What are we doing to our bodies!
To be able to still reduce some of the toxins and additives in our family's food, I have decided to buy what things I can in organic. Such as vegetables and fruits and milk.

Going on this, I bought organic cream.... What do you do with organic cream? Make butter or whipping cream are the two that came to mind first. So I did make butter. It was so easy too! I put the cream in my blender. Turned it on till it was churned. Then rinsed! Add salt or whatever else you desire and you are done!
Its so simple. If cream were cheaper, I would make it all by myself. Butter is not one of those things that is cheaper to make yourself. It also cost about double. Especially for organic.

Mother's Nightmare

2008-08-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

What is a mother's nightmare? Aside from some of the obvious disaster ones, today one of mine was realized. My daughter went into the kitchen and retrieved my 7 inch blade petite carver- CUTCO! I entered the kitchen to see her starting fumble her fingers on the blade! I yelled and she looked at me in innocence. She knows she not supposed to touch my knives, from her experience of trying to get them at the dinner table. Luckily there are no cuts on her. I instantly said a prayer of thanks. Grown adults go to the hospital over these knives for stitches! I don't even want to think what damage she could have inflicted!

Reflections on the Anniversary

2008-08-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Being on the west coast, who thinks of the horrors that occurred seven years ago? Who thinks on the deaths of our fellow Americans, that we sacrificed because of a tyrant? Do you remember what you felt when you saw the Twin Towers fall? Where were you when you heard of the attack on the Pentagon? Did you hear of the heroes on flight 93?
I remember where I was. I remember staring in disbelief, then crying in sorrow. I remember the worry I had for my home, the land of my birth. History was the class I was in when the planes' destruction was aired on the news. What a fitting place. I remember the day, the teacher, I also remember them telling us we can't watch it. But yet we still had it on in our classroom.
Even though I remember, did I really understand? I had turned 14 only months previously. I look at my 14 year old brother and wonder how he would have reacted if it was him in my place. I think I understood at the face value of it all. But to fully comprehend was a little out of my league. I did not know the history of our two nations' interactions and their diplomatic relations.
What if I saw it happen now? As if an answer to this question, a documentary on the brave souls of Flight 93,' The Flight That Fought Back' by Discovery channel, was aired Sunday night. Chad and I watched it. Seeing the scenes of what may have happened (based on testimonies of the family and friends of members aboard) reenacted, brought tears and a deeper understanding to me. I cried when I saw the planes strike the Twin Towers. I cried when I heard the recordings of the passengers fighting the hijackers.
These people died for us. They died with out being asked. They died because they new that their deaths saves others. Would I be as brave? I hope I would be. There was a passenger on board who was pregnant. How would I handle myself in her situation? Would I call my family to say I love them and goodbye? Or would I sit back and believe the hijackers claims of obedience equaling the ability to survive? I pray I will never have to know. I pray this never happens again.

"It never ends!"

2008-08-25T21:51:00.001-07:00

Tonight I am reminded of a favorite Dream Works movie, Over the Hedge. What brings this film to mind is a specific line in which a little ADD squirrel, while looking in astonishment at a new and unfamiliar addition to their forest, exclaims "It never ends!". This new addition is a hedge, for those who have missed an opportunity for a delightfully humorous movie. Why do I think of this line and why does it apply to my life? Those who read this that are the caregivers of their households and do the bulk of the house slaving- I mean cleaning, have most likely pieced together the clues already. I am referring to the never ending processes of cleaning a home.
One of my dearest friends has a plaque in her kitchen which reads "Cleaning a home with children growing is like shoveling snow while its still snowing". My husband smartly mentioned he would change that saying to read "Cleaning a home with children growing is like shoveling snow while in a blizzard". I would have to say I feel strongly about that. And once you add animals you are really fighting an uphill battle.
My predicament is that I don't like starting and I don't get very motivated with my daughter around. Maybe that is because she then notices that mommy is trying to do something and she wants all attention. I could be watching TV and she wouldn't bother me, but the moment I go to pick up toys she has all sorts of needs.
I bring this up this evening because I have been cleaning most of the day and it really only appears as if I have just started! So I declare, from my dear friend Sammy the squirrel, "It never ends!"

Certifiably Insane

2008-08-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

To satisfy my need for heels, today I found a wonderful deal on a pair of bronze stappy high heels. They were originally $60 and I got them for $15. They are very pretty and I love them. Back in June, I ordered myself a pair of stap sandles with cork wedge heel. They ended up being to small so I exchanged those for a pair of ballet flats in cherry red patent leather. They are so pretty. I have always wanted a red shoe. I wanted a red heel, but these will do.

Okay, I am certifiably inane! I mentioned today, to Chad, that I missed having birds. We used to have finches and I loved them. Well, I left this evening to run some errands (involving shoes) and when I returned he was on his way to go get a free bird cage. Well its free and I can't say no, right? We get the cage. Now we have an empty cage. Can't have that, can we? No that won't do. Off to Petco we go. We left with two Parakeets. They are cute. My daughter is so delighted by them as well. She loves birds. (Okay, what doesn't she like?)
So our list of pets is, 1 dog, 5 cats, 3 fish tanks, 6 chickens, 2 parakeets.... okay that's it.... for now. My mom wasn't happy about the parakeet additions. But oh well. Yeah, it was really funny how I told her too. I was saying "I went to target and got detergent, razors, Pedegg, christmas present for Brianne. We got two parakeets. I bought a red pair of shoes and a pair of tennis shoes for abi." It took her a moment. My tatically placed information had to be processed. When it finally clicked, she was saying "What? WHY??" I told her I missed the birds. She proceeded to tell me I had too many pets. And maybe I do, but who's to decided that? As long as they are being taken care of properly its okay right? And Abigale will be well rounded. Okay, I am arguing my insanity, for which there is no explanation.

Alaska Voyage

2008-08-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while, hasn't it. We had our first trip as a family this month. We went to Alaska. Down on the SE tip of Alaska is where we were in a little town called Sitka. It is a wonderful town. Small fishing town of maybe 8000 people, it was quiet and calm. As if a testament to my heritage, I was at home in the 50-65 degree weather and rain.
While in Sitka, we stayed with a family friend, Harold. He is also the one that made it possible for us to come visit. We didn't spend anything while in Sitka, except for the gifts we purchased. To fill our days we visited the local sites such as Totem Park, Battle ground, and downtown. There are lots of trails to hike, vistas to view, foliage and animals to observe in Alaska, and Sitka is among the greatest.
Sitka is a neat town with an interesting history. Sitka was originally founded by Russian immigrants. Founded meaning they took over the native lands. The populations in Sitka is Russian, Indian and American. The cruise ships also stops there, so the down town shopping is mostly for tourists.
Instead of taking a flight home, we decided to take a three days ferry ride through the Alaska waters and down to Canada, ending in Bellingham, WA. That was probably my favorite part. We were by ourselves, that is without Harold. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed seeing Harold, but its nice to spend time alone as a family. On the ferry, there isn't much to do except watch the water. They showed some videos, but, with a toddler, weren't really able to watch them. There was a cafeteria and a diner. The cafeteria had cold sandwiches, snacks and a grill style menu. We ate some meals there. At the diner it was more like a sit down restaurant. Fish dishes mainly, as well as specials that were usually chicken.
The sites were beautiful and breath taking in Alaska. I have some amazing pictures to share with everyone.

I cry, "Uncle!"

2008-08-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

I have been cleaning my room and house all night! Although I haven't reached my goal of cleanliness, I have to call it quits upon the fact that I hurt. I hurt in my hips and lower back the worst. But I can see my floor and I have a clean bed. My hall and living room got vacuumed. I also loaded some dishes and started the washer. I have done several loads of laundry. Granted some of it was bedding, I still have done probably 6 or more loads. In my attempts to cleaning my room, which is still not done all the way, I filled a 13 gallon bag and a box with garbage. I also got rid of two boxes worth of junk! I got rid of two pairs of shoes even.
I feel better. But really tired.
Its odd how much I have used my new vacuum since purchasing it. I have probably used it more time this week than I vacuumed in a whole month with my last one! Poor thing... didn't know what it was getting into.
Tomorrows tasks, what you may ask. Well I need to get the office organized, hang up Abi's clothes as well as fold all of the clothes on the couch and get them put in the places. Tomorrow Chad comes home, though it will probably be late. My guess, He'll be home 24 hours from now. Its kinda torture not knowing what time.... I am a planner and its hard not to know.
Anyways, I am gonna crash so I will write more tomorrow.

Progress was made

2008-07-30T21:35:00.001-07:00

Still struggling with the news that I wouldn't be able to see my husband till friday, I woke not ready to face the tasks which lay before me. I needed to clean and help in the yard as well as go to Walmart. I hate that store sometimes. I can't deny that their prices are right, but I just don't like going there. I much prefer Winco and Target. But I digress. I waited till Abi took a nap and decided that to take the edge off my depression I needed to tackle the tasks at hand. Though I did not get to everything on my list, I did get dishes done once, picked up the living room and vacuumed. I started on the laundry. I need to fold them still though. I was forced to mop the kitchen twice because my dish washer flooded time and again.
I also went to walmart to get my oil changed and the line was longer than I wanted to wait for. So I just got my select groceries for the night and flowers for the new bed in the front of the house. Once home, I started dinner. While that was cooking I helped my mom in the front. Not much else I suppose. I need to get folding on the laundry.
I am gonna tackle my room tomorrow. Yea!

Disappointed in Marysville

2008-07-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

Yea, I am still home tonight. Chad called me while I was shopping in Target this evening a bit after 7. He told me he was going to be working till the wee hours of the morning, say 3 o'clock. If I wanted I could still come down but I wouldn't really see him much. Then the next day is 'game' night so I wouldn't be able to see him till the wee hours again. Thursday is the last day of the show and he is homeward on Friday. Needless to say, I was grateful I pushed back the departure time (I was gonna be in Seattle at 6) because then I was able to get his call while in Marysville still.
I am disappointed only because I had my hopes up. I was really looking forward to it. Oh well, I have things I should do here anyway.

Another day, Another post

2008-07-29T11:00:00.001-07:00

Today I am going to go visit Chad in Seattle tonight. I am very excited.

Here's to Old Friends and New Vacuums

2008-07-28T22:02:00.001-07:00

Oh I got the most delightful email! My Sensei, back from my college karate class, sent me an email. I had sent her an email about this blog site. I love getting emails from long ago friends. It made me so happy to read about her ventures on the sea.
As for the new vacuum bit, well, I have a new vacuum. I couldn't take emptying mine anymore. I hate, I really mean HATE, dealing with the constant clean up of a canister vacuum. I have had my dirt devil since I got married. I really wish I had done more research before picking one out when I registered for my wedding. The stupid thing has always given me trouble. The vacuum had very little suction and was very loud. I broke down a couple days ago and vowed that when mom returned from Oregon I was getting a new one.
So today, I took my old dirt devil, got some trade in value off a new hoover tempo and came home happy. I used it already a couple times and am ecstatic at the fact I don't have to beat the filters or take the canister outside anymore. I really didn't like doing that.
I was not prepared for the suction though! My floor is renewed in plushness again. ON the flip side of that, I sucked up and earring and a leash! I got the leash out but don't care enough about the earring, so to the dust graveyard it goes.
Tonight, I am phone shopping. My husband's phone is dying very quickly. The show he is on right now in Seattle has a company selling new phones discounted. He sent me a list of the ones they have and we are comparing.
Oh speaking of my husband! He surprised me by coming home from work!!! I had a hunch I would see him tonight. But actually seeing him is so much better. I was on the phone with LaShaunna when he walked up. I was like "Um, My husband came home. I need to go!" She was smiling; I could here it.
Chad is gone now though. I got an hour and half or so to visit. He ate some dinner and played with Abigale for a while. Now she's in bed and he is heading to the hotel in Seattle.
I have to admit, it is much easier having him gone but only in Seattle. Though I still don't hear or see him much. I know that if I want, I can. As opposed to when he's in another state all together, when all I can do is see him (if I am lucky) on web cam. Just knowing I have that option makes the separation that much better and easier. I do have to mention though that it has felt like forever since he's been home. Maybe its the fact that this is the tail end of his busy season. Next month is still going to be slightly busy, but he is going to be home.
We are leaving for Alaska on the 7th. YEA!! First real family vacation.

Poem: Remembering

2008-07-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many know it, but I love poetry. I really enjoy writing in general, but when a poem is emerging from my mind, it gives me great joy. So I thought I would share that with my readers.
This poem I wrote one night when I was thinking about my husband being away.
Remembering
I see your face when I wake
It's lingering from a dream
Smiling, grinning as you do
It moves something deep within my soul
And makes me want you
Though I can't
I have you
But I don't
You're far away
Distant, though I feel you close
I feel your love from afar
Doing what you do, for us
Leaving like you do, for us
It's made us closer
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Right?
At times I wonder
Then I remember your face
You love me
Though I have you
I don't
Not today, Not tonight
But I will,
Your face in my dreams reminds me of that.

The Real Ancient Chinese Secret

2008-07-27T23:05:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to let the world know I have the truth about Ancient Chinese torture. What is that secret you may ask. Well then I would have to kill you wouldn't I? Or is it that it would kill you? Whatever the case, I am just going to tell you. The secret is make a person have a itch that never stops and increases in intensity through the slightest touch. Some may understand what I am talking about, and some are probably thinking I am totally crazy.
If I have an itch scratch it right? What if you can't? Then what? And what if you do and it's like putting oil on a fire? What is the solution then? For those who know what an allergic itch is like, you totally comprehend this description.
As of the last year or so, I have developed a sun allergy (my diagnosis may I add). Beginning when the sun starts to emerge in about April or so, I have to be extra careful with my skin. The most minuscule of moments out in the sun send my skin into a frenzy of itch. The best way I can describe it is tiny bugs walking on your skin and stinging as they go. The more that you scratch the faster they go.
Today, after church, I sat at my computer and made the mistake of actually rubbing a portion of my back (I got sun exposure on my back Friday and I can't stop itching since). The itch progressed quickly and I was practically hyperventilating while rocking back and forth crying. I have contained the itch now. I got it under control with a wet towel. Though it does still itch, I at least am not in full panic attacks.
I know this will pass. The trick is keeping my sanity in tact in the process. Hopefully I can go see the doctor soon and get something that will prevent these reactions to the sun.
So if anyone asks- The itch you can't scratch may not kill, but it feels like should!

Catch up!

2008-07-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I have made a post; it is way past due. I have spent my days taking Chad to the airport, picking up Chad from the airport and entertaining my daughter. The days are long when Chad is at work. Since the end of May he has been in Orlando, NY, Houston and LA. Now is he is in Seattle staying at the Sheraton until August 1st. I can't complain though. He was home for Father's day and my birthday. He got the fourth off while in Houston too.
The stomach pains that were mentioned back in the beginning of May have since vanished. We have no idea why it started or stopped. But I am delighted to have them gone. Although I wish i knew the source.
I have been spending my time with my new friend from church Lashaunna. Last night, desperate for a day of alone time with her husband, she dropped off her three kids at my place. That was a lot of fun and a great experiment of my juggling skills. While trying to maintain peace in my house among her three year old daughter, Emma, and Abigale, I was also cooking dinner. To add to that I was attempting to find a safe place for her four month old son Daniel, out of arms reach of my daughter mainly.
After the initial transition time passed, and dinner was served to my family, we watched a movie, Charolette's Web (the cartoon). After that was over, and Daniel was fed, I grabbed a blanket and pacifier for the baby and we took the pack out side. I have a small house and everyone was a little crammed. Once outside, we walked through the garden. Noah (6) and Emma (3), got to see my step father's and my chickens. Emma wasn't so sure about her wellbeing around the chickens, though they were caged. My father held her so she could be carried around the garden and coop area.
I have been in a total culinary kick lately. My dinners have been very inventive in recent days. Raspberry Custard, Marinera Baked Chicken, garilic noodle and sauteed vegetables are among my new attempted dishes. I always get a bit bake obsessive when Chad is gone.
Today, LaShaunna and I are taking the kids to the lake. I have to go run a few errands in the meantime... along with needing to spend a great amount of time cleaning. I hate to clean. Though it does make me feel good when it is done. I love a clean, organized house. Modivation to do so, well, that's another story.
I better sign out now.

Rough couple days

2008-05-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

I really didn't intend for this blog to sound all complaining the whole time, but life has been hectic lately. Thurday May 1st, I woke to very intense stomach pain. I thought it was maybe a cystic ovary. I called the consulting nurse hotline, the nurse told me I needed to go in as soon as possible. That was about 10:15 am. They set an appointment at 11:10 am. I went in, they poked and prodded. Torturing my stomach, only to tell me that I needed to be seen for emergency ultrasound. Since there were no opening at the Everett campus, I had to drive down to Redmond to the Eastside Campus. They got me very quickly. The Ultrasound took about an hour. They did a pelvic and abdominal US. Again, nothing conclusive. I have had blood draw three times now. On May 1st the white cell count was really high. Today, May 3, down again. I think that was in response to the sore throat I have had for two weeks. Because today, I am almost completely over it. Today, the doctors tell me that it could be my gallbladder. That actually makes sense. There is a strong family link and both my mother and grandmother had theirs removed. So, the next step is a GI evaluation by a specialist. I am waiting for an appointment for that now. Hopefully that will be quick because I am still uncomfortable. Though not near as bad as it was on the first. I was hunched over almost in tears it was so bad. I did have a blessing and that has helped.

Anyways, Chad comes home in about an hour. Looking forward to that; Though he is sick as well. So on the way home we are stopping by urgent are at East Side group health to get him seen.

Have a good after noon! I will write later!

31 Cents

2008-04-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

This evening was very pleasant. I was able to spend the evening with my family. We had dinner and then we went out to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. They were having a 31 cent ice cream fundraiser. Lots of people showed for the event. At the door people were given tickets and told ten scoop limit per customer. I didn't use all ten alotted. I got Abigale a vanilla scoop and for me, well I had one butter pecan, one chocolate and one rainbow sherbet. Very yummy indeed. Abigale was so cute eating her ice cream.
Steve at one point asked her if he could have a taste. He proceeded to move his spoon towards her cup. She in return moved her cup away and gave him a look only a girl could! So young, yet so much attitude!

Per the request of Chad, I am going to add new photos to the flickr account. So watch the slides at the bottom of the screen for updated memories!

Closer to Completion

2008-04-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

I broke down; I started cleaning the kitchen. I finished a load, and fed Abigale. I watched the movie "Game Plan" and told myself that when I finish the movie then I had to do the dishes. So I did. Now I am back to say "Hi!" I added a feature at the bottom of the screen. My mother got me interested in these emails that have quotes and thoughts from the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They are all very uplifting, encouraging everyone to be the better you. I find them to be the perfect thought to 'chew on' and I wanted to share that with my readers. So enjoy!

Starting Early

2008-04-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Well today started early. The dog woke me at 6:15 this morning. Then she barked so much she woke Abi up at 6:55. So my day started a bit earlier than normal. Back in March, the doctor ordered a blood work up which I had to fast for. I had been putting it off and forgetting about it. Then I was sick. So being I was up early enough and actually not feel nauseous from not eating, I proceeded in getting ready for a blood draw.
Abigale was pretty well behaved while I was in the office. She was quite interested though in what the phlebotomist was doing. Didn't cry or anything, but she intently observed every move she made.
On my way home I stopped at Costco for gas. Now I am home and trying to ignore the dishes in the kitchen calling me. I would much rather ignore them and watch the movies I rented last night....
Abigale is fussing at me so I am going to end for now.

Overcoming stress

2008-04-29T15:24:00.000-07:00

Well today has been great fun. I got sick this weekend and lost my voice almost completely. I will testify that I firmly believe that kids take advantage of the fact you don't feel well. My daughter and puppy have been making my days very stressful. With a toddler starting to throw tantrums and a puppy biting and not potty training, I am feeling overwhelmed.
Chad is out of town right now. He's in Las Vegas- His favorite place in the world. (If you can't detect it, that was typed with the great amount of sarcasm I could muster.) Although I miss him greatly, I have to admit, this trip as seemed easier and gone by faster than past shows. I believe it has to do with the fact that I have lots to keep me busy. The friends I have made in my new ward really keep me company and give me things to do outside of the house and our normal day to day routines. Also, I have the cats, a puppy and a toddler.
Speaking of cats: I had to take Kami to the vet today. I had to pay $25 for the office visit, $12 for an anal gland squeeze, $15 for him to swab his ears and look through the microscope to say he had no ear mites.... finally, there was the antibiotics. I initally took him in because i picked him up and fluid was coming out of his rectum. Well that worried me because my mother's kitten died in our home just a few weeks ago from an incurable disease. Basically the vet said that the fluid was probably the anal gland. And the antibiotics was for a high temputerature indicating an infection that he wasn't sure why it was there. So $65 later, and a cat that really could have been okay with out the money and time spent. Oh well, better safe than sorry right?
So I hate dishes... and they are taunting me from the sick of my kitchen. Saying, "you have no silverware. Nor do you have a clean spot on the counter, stove or table to set anything anymore! You need to CLEAN ME!!!" But I don't want to. I want to go sleep. A nice half hour nap sounds so appealling. Actually maybe I'll go try that. I think Abigale fell asleep. I put her in her room to "take a break". We take breaks when we aren't listening or throwing tantrums.
I am excited about this new blog! It feels good to just type. Believe it or not, I really enjoy typing. It gives me an outlet to my day. Thank you for reading and sharing my days.